Diagnosis
When in Doubt, Get Evaluated
Sometimes parents just know when something is wrong with their child. Our “inner sense” kicks in, and we’re able to realize that something isn’t right when no one else is.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to apply to many of us who have children that are affected by the Autism Spectrum. My theory is that because our children were born this way (debatable, I know), their quirks are normal to our every day life. These are all things that I had said before the label of Autism came into our lives:
- “Sure my son is a little different, aren’t we all?”
- “Boys sometimes talk later than girls, that’s normal.”
- “He’s just shy, that’s why he sits in the corner at daycare.”
- “He loves his cars, he can just sit there and roll them back and forth all day.. he seems really interested in the spinning of the tires.”
- “It’s kind of weird that he’s so sensitive to the grass, I guess he just doesn’t want to get dirty.”
It wasn’t until someone put all of the signs together, and then explained to me that all of his “quirks” combined were enough for a strong diagnoses, that I finally realized that something was wrong. It rocked my world. My wife and I were in so much shock, that we literally cried for days. Having someone tell you that your child has a learning disability, and that he would struggle through his entire life, is not something any parent ever wants to hear.
After my son was diagnosed, a family member told me that they had a feeling that something was wrong with our son. She was too afraid to confront me about it, because she knew that she could have been wrong and was sure that we would likely become very defensive. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve reacted, but I’m sure that I would’ve been upset at the idea. I wish that she would’ve told me right away though. Her suggestion might have been enough for me to take our son to a specialist. Instead, we learned by mistake many months later.
Autism - What to Do First
Someone has mentioned that your child might have Autism. What do you do now?
Diagnosed with Autism, Now What?
As far as I can tell, every parent who has just heard the diagnoses of their child goes through the following stages:
Alarming New UK Study
I am trying to catch up on all of the latest news, and was very saddened to read this story come out of the United Kingdom. According to a Cambridge University study,
“A study has found that as many as one in 58 may have some form of the condition - well above the widely-accepted existing estimate of one in 100.
If so, it would mean that around 210,000 children under 16 in the UK have autism or a related disorder.”
When my son was first diagnosed, I remember reading that 1:210 children were diagnosed with a form of Autism, and in 4.5 years we’re seeing the numbers jump to 1:58? This is very sad news for everyone.
I haven’t found the original study yet, but if I do I will post the link here. Click Here to read article posted by DailyMail.co.uk.
Putting The Signs Together
Thanks for the comments in my first post! Janice brought up a great point, that there are many children who don’t start speaking until they are older. Which is exactly what I was telling myself! What I failed to mention was that there were many other indications that something was wrong, but I had made excuses for each “sign” differently. I never really stepped back and put everything together.
For example, Colton had a very hard time dealing with changes to his environment. It was almost like he had to shut down until he could adjust to the new situation, and then he’d slowly warm up again. I remember going to grab Colton out of the crib, and he was so excited to see me. When we were sitting in the living room, everything would be fine. But as soon as Mommy walked in and greeted him, he would shut down. Krystal had a really hard time with this, but it wasn’t long before we realized that it really didn’t matter who it was. If you weren’t the first person to rescue him from the crib, then you had to slowly present yourself to him in the mornings.
Another key sign that I made excuses for, was his social interactions with other kids in groups. When we would pick him up from daycare, all of the kids would be around a table coloring or playing. In the corner, my son would be sitting and playing with a truck all by himself. My reaction was, “well he doesn’t have the social skills so he doesn’t feel comfortable playing with the other kids.” What I didn’t realize is that it was much more than the fact that he couldn’t talk to the kids, he just didn’t feel comfortable in large groups.
Here is a list of signs that your infant may be effected by a form of Autism, taken from NeurologyChannel.com:
Signs of autism may appear during infancy and the disorder is usually diagnosed by the age of 3. Sometimes the child’s development appears normal until about 2 years old and then regresses rapidly. Symptoms of autism occur in various combinations, from mild to severe.
Infants with the disorder often display abnormal reactions to sensory stimuli (i.e., senses may be over- or underactive). Touches may be experienced as painful, smells may be overwhelmingly unpleasant, and ordinary daily noises may be painful. Loud noises (e.g., motorcycle going by, vacuum cleaner) and bright lights may cause inconsolable crying.
Other signs of the disorder in infants include the following:
- Appears indifferent to surroundings
- Appears content to be alone, happier to play alone
- Displays lack of interest in toys
- Displays lack of response to others
- Does not point out objects of interest to others (called protodeclarative pointing)
- Marked reduction or increase in activity level
- Resists cuddling
Obviously, you can pick out a few of those signs out and they might apply to any normally developing child. But when you put them all together, you start to realize that something might not be “right.” Probably one of the hardest parts of dealing with the realization that your child is effected by autism, is trying to explain the situation to friends and relatives. Because the spectrum is essentially a combination of common disorders, it’s very easy for people to question the diagnosis. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard, “Well, my son did that when he was younger too, and he’s turned out perfectly fine.” In fact, I think that might be the hardest part for parents, dealing with the doubters.
Here are several other lists of symptoms that you should be aware of:
- WebMD.com - Autism Symptoms
- WrongDiagnosis.com - 48 Symptoms of Autism
- AutismSpeaks.org - Learn the Signs
How Not to Find Out Your Child is Autistic
Our son was two years old, and barely used any verbal language. I had been told so many times that “boys develop language later,” that I grasped onto that belief with little hesitation.
Six months previous, my wife had seen a news segment about autism, and for some reason she saw characteristics of our son. When she brought the idea up to me, I quickly rejected the idea. Our son was only 18 months old, how many 18-month-olds are speaking? Sure, he rolls his trucks back and forth repeatedly, but he just likes trucks!
Well, when Colton was 27 months old we finally asked our pediatrician if we could get his speech evaluated. We took Colton to the evaluation, and watched in horror as he failed so many of their “tests.” At the end of the evaluation, I could tell that something was wrong, just based off of the facial expressions of the testers. They, in the most polite way possible, told us that Colton showed several signs that were characteristic of the “autism spectrum.” Our life has never been the same since.
- Do NOT find out that your child is Autistic 6 months after you notice the first signs.
- Do NOT wait for your pediatrician to mention something. Just because their child was a “late talker” doesn’t mean that your child is.
- Do NOT ignore, or blow off, the concerns of your partner. If something doesn’t feel right, then there is a good chance that something is wrong.
Am I trying to make every parent paranoid? Well.. yes. If I had been paranoid, we could have diagnosed the problem 6-7 months earlier. What is the worst that could have happened? My wife and I would have had our son evaluated, only to be told that he’s perfectly fine. So we would have wasted a few hours. Big deal. If you feel that something is not right, even if you are a first-time parent, then take the actions needed to make yourself feel alright about the situation.
+1 for my wife.