Parenting
5 Tips for a Productive IEP Meeting
We had our IEP (Individualized Education Program) meeting last week, and it went amazingly well! For those of you who haven’t been through one of these meetings yet, it’s basically a regular meeting where you and your child’s teachers and therapists meet to discuss the progress that your child has made. After discussing how your child is doing now, the real purpose of the meeting is to come up with some goals for the future, and to then get them into his IEP.
I’m feeling long-winded today, so I’d like to give you some tips for preparing for IEP meetings, and then I will give you our personal experience below.
5 Tips for a Productive IEP Meeting:
- Know when your child’s IEP is due! Do not depend on teachers to schedule these, otherwise it will always be a rush job. Put it on your calendar, and start making calls to teachers 30-40 days in advance.
- Prepare Personal Notes. Write down your observations of progress made at home, current problem areas, and any questions that you might have. Chances are that you will forget the important questions when you’re at the meeting, so go prepared.
- Invite Everyone! If your child attends any additional therapy, school, daycare, or even just has a babysitter, invite them all to the meeting. You want everyone to be on the same page in regards to your child’s development, and each person can provide a different insight to the progress your child has made.
- Fight Fight Fight! You are your child’s best advocate. If the plans that are being presented to you don’t make sense, or if you want more of something for your child, don’t give up. There is a possibility that you’ll need to fight your way to the top of the School District to get what you want, but you do what it takes. If you are still not getting what you want, it’s time to find an advocate.
- Follow Up. After the IEP meeting has finished, make sure that you follow up with everyone who was involved. Your goal is to ensure they all follow through with their stated goals, and sometimes they need a little extra push. Establish regular correspondence through email, notes, phone or even in person.
Here are a few other great resources:
- Tips for a Successful IEP Meeting
- Quick Tips For A Productive IEP Meeting
- Advocacy Tips and Techniques: Ideas by and from Parents and Those Supporting Parents and Children
- Redhead Momma - IEP Day
When in Doubt, Get Evaluated
Sometimes parents just know when something is wrong with their child. Our “inner sense” kicks in, and we’re able to realize that something isn’t right when no one else is.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to apply to many of us who have children that are affected by the Autism Spectrum. My theory is that because our children were born this way (debatable, I know), their quirks are normal to our every day life. These are all things that I had said before the label of Autism came into our lives:
- “Sure my son is a little different, aren’t we all?”
- “Boys sometimes talk later than girls, that’s normal.”
- “He’s just shy, that’s why he sits in the corner at daycare.”
- “He loves his cars, he can just sit there and roll them back and forth all day.. he seems really interested in the spinning of the tires.”
- “It’s kind of weird that he’s so sensitive to the grass, I guess he just doesn’t want to get dirty.”
It wasn’t until someone put all of the signs together, and then explained to me that all of his “quirks” combined were enough for a strong diagnoses, that I finally realized that something was wrong. It rocked my world. My wife and I were in so much shock, that we literally cried for days. Having someone tell you that your child has a learning disability, and that he would struggle through his entire life, is not something any parent ever wants to hear.
After my son was diagnosed, a family member told me that they had a feeling that something was wrong with our son. She was too afraid to confront me about it, because she knew that she could have been wrong and was sure that we would likely become very defensive. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve reacted, but I’m sure that I would’ve been upset at the idea. I wish that she would’ve told me right away though. Her suggestion might have been enough for me to take our son to a specialist. Instead, we learned by mistake many months later.
Visit to the Neurologist
Krystal and I have been evaluating Colton’s progress, and going through everything that we’ve done thus far to help him. One of the evaluations that we hadn’t looked into was a visit to the Neurologist. It’s been a nagging issue for us, since Colton had what were diagnosed as “febrile seizures” when he was two. We have always questioned the diagnoses, because at the time of the first episode Colton did not have a fever of any kind (which is the definition of febrile). But, the doctors were insistent that this was a classic case of the very common seizures. So, we stopped there and focused on the future.
Well, last week we finally had an evaluation done by a neurologist at the Noran Neurological Clinic in Minneapolis. The doctor had one very important question for us: “What do you expect to get out of having me evaluate your son’s brain?”
- If we were looking for a problem to fix, he wanted to let us know that the chances were very slim.
- But, if we were interested in simply trying to find differences in how Colton’s brain processes information, with the purpose of helping us understand his difficulties, then he suggested we proceed with testing.
We actually went to this appointment not knowing what a Neurologist could tell us, so we were happy that he was going to schedule some tests that may help us pinpoint some differences in Colton’s brain. We scheduled appointments for both an EEG and an MRI.
The EEG was performed last Friday, and I just received a call that everything is normal. Great news! One test down, and one more to go! :)
Have any of you had these tests done for your children? I’d love to hear about your experiences, especially if the results helped you gain any insight into your children’s situation.
Caught up in Life
Hey Everyone,I apologize for the unexpected lack of updates on this site, it seems that life just got caught up with us. Colton has started going to summer preschool again three times a week, that combined with his two sessions of speech therapy and one session of occupational therapy.. we’re busy. But, busy in a good way. ;)
Colton has really been showing improvements in his speech though! He’s starting to use more and more language, aside from his memorized phrases. The other morning he woke up, walked up to Krystal and said,”Mommy is in the pink shirt.” It’s amazing how a little spontaneous speech can brighten our day. :)
Autism - What to Do First
Someone has mentioned that your child might have Autism. What do you do now?
Dads Helping Dads
I just read a great article about a group of fathers in Washington who have formed a support group named “Dads Supporting Dads,” specifically created for fathers of children with special needs. The group is unique because it was formed specifically for fathers, by fathers.
Click Here to see the article: Some Dads have Special Knowledge of Special Needs Kids
It’s a great idea, and it’s given me some inspiration to look for something similar in this area. I’m not sure why it’s difficult for us Dads to get out there and talk with other men in similar situations, but it is. The idea of getting together with fathers who can sympathize, and probably provide a lot of suggestions and ideas, makes a lot of sense. I often find myself complaining that my wife and I learn everything “the hard way,” maybe this is the kind of resource where I could help others, and they could help me.
Do you remember the transition in your social status when you had kids? How suddenly it was weird hanging out with your friends who haven’t experienced overflowing diapers and sleepless nights? Having a child diagnosed with special needs seems like a similar “transition,” to a lesser extent. Very few of our friends truly understand the intense life that we live, and honestly.. I don’t think that they care to hear about the difficulties of raising a special needs child. So my wife and I support each other, and try to keep the heavy talk to a minimum when we’re at social events. The idea of meeting up with Fathers who live similar lives, sounds pretty darn good.
If I’m not able to find an existing group, I think I’m going to have to start one. And who says that it needs to be boring? The gatherings could be a night at the bar, bowling alley, or even a round of golf! Just a place for people of similar circumstances and interests to get together and bounce ideas off of each other. Let’s face it, as soon as our kids were diagnosed, all of our priorities in the world changed. I find it hard to believe that there are more dedicated and passionate parents out there, than those who have special needs children, and I want to meet you.
So let’s hear it, do any of you go to support groups? I’d love to hear any experiences that you’ve had, good or bad.
Diagnosed with Autism, Now What?
As far as I can tell, every parent who has just heard the diagnoses of their child goes through the following stages: