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When in Doubt, Get Evaluated

Sometimes parents just know when something is wrong with their child. Our “inner sense” kicks in, and we’re able to realize that something isn’t right when no one else is.

Unfortunately, this doesn’t seem to apply to many of us who have children that are affected by the Autism Spectrum. My theory is that because our children were born this way (debatable, I know), their quirks are normal to our every day life. These are all things that I had said before the label of Autism came into our lives:

• “Sure my son is a little different, aren’t we all?”
• “Boys sometimes talk later than girls, that’s normal.”
• “He’s just shy, that’s why he sits in the corner at daycare.”
• “He loves his cars, he can just sit there and roll them back and forth all day.. he seems really interested in the spinning of the tires.”
• “It’s kind of weird that he’s so sensitive to the grass, I guess he just doesn’t want to get dirty.”

It wasn’t until someone put all of the signs together, and then explained to me that all of his “quirks” combined were enough for a strong diagnoses, that I finally realized that something was wrong. It rocked my world. My wife and I were in so much shock, that we literally cried for days. Having someone tell you that your child has a learning disability, and that he would struggle through his entire life, is not something any parent ever wants to hear.

After my son was diagnosed, a family member told me that they had a feeling that something was wrong with our son. She was too afraid to confront me about it, because she knew that she could have been wrong and was sure that we would likely become very defensive. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve reacted, but I’m sure that I would’ve been upset at the idea. I wish that she would’ve told me right away though. Her suggestion might have been enough for me to take our son to a specialist. Instead, we learned by mistake many months later.

If someone that you love is brave enough to tell you that they think something might be wrong with your child, please do not get defensive. Step back, evaluate the idea, and even if you still think that nothing is wrong.. take the 2 hours to get your kid evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Time is truly of the essence, the more specialized help that you can get your child in his early years, the easier his life will be.

On the other hand, if you have family members who doubt your idea that something is wrong.. ignore them. If you feel that something might be wrong, that’s enough! You don’t need a second opinion from family, get your kid evaluated. Morale of the story? It really never hurts to get evaluated. Do it now, so that you can sleep better later.

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